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If you have a favourite moment from Dad's Army that you would like me to include here, let me know at:

After being trampled by the lads as they exit the cinema during the national anthem, Mainwaring subjects them to 6 playings of the anthem throughout which they have to stand to attention. Leaving them in Jones' hands he goes into the office where the Vicar is sitting at the desk. The Vicar refuses to stand up and let Mainwaring have the chair, at which point the national anthem can be heard from the other room. Mainwaring and the Vicar stand side by side with the chair in the middle. Mainwaring's face and moustache twitches are a sketch in themselves as he tries to manoeuvre himself to be nearest the chair when the anthem ends.

The scene in 'A Soldier's Farewell' when they are all on the bus returning home from the cinema, getting a bit restless, when Corporal Jones shouts, "I know let's have a bit of a sing-song." Then starts with "Oh, the first is number one and the fun has just begun, roll me over lay me down and do it again. Roll me over! Roll me over!" Meanwhile, Captain Mainwaring, annoyed, stands up and tries to stop them. However Sergeant Wilson, with a hilarious singing voice, still continues with the song and sings "Roll me over, lay me down and do it again!" Then is put back into place by Captain Mainwaring. Always makes me laugh.

"My all-time favourite scene has to be in 'A. Wilson (Manager)?' when Mainwaring is told that Wilson has firstly been made manager of the Eastgate Branch by Head Office, secondly Second Lieutenant in the Eastgate platoon by the Colonel, and finally the Vicar phones, to which the long-suffering Captain says "What are you going to tell me about Wilson, that he's been made Archbishop of Canterbury?!" Superb writing, and fantastic acting from Arthur Lowe."

"My classic moment has to be during A'bsent Friends' when Captain Mainwaring is trying discretely to ask for under the counter ox-tail off Jonesy and he gets completely the wrong end of the stick and believes Mainwaring is trying to tell him that Mrs. Mainwaring is pregnant. The episode ends in Captain Mainwaring ending the rumours "circulating around the town concerning my wife's condition". I can watch this over and over again it never loses it's magic!"

"My favourite moment from Dad's Army was from the episode 'Asleep In The Deep'. The platoon have become trapped in an underground pumping station and the water is rising rapidly. Frazer gets that faraway look in his eye and then goes on to tell them about a submarine that got sunk and "seven brave men were trapped. The water got higher and higher until it got up to their necks, and then..." and then the classic "terrible way to die!". Mainwaring's face was classic."

One of my favourite moments is in 'Asleep in the Deep', when Captain Mainwaring goes into the room where the ceiling has collapsed with Sergeant Wilson. Mainwaring asks Wilson to hold his hand to steady him as he backs out of the room but forgets to let go once they are outside, so when Mainwaring starts to address the men in the outer room, the two of them are still holding hands! The moment when Mainwaring realises and pulls his hand away is a classic. It's a sort of 'blink and you'll miss it' moment, but Arthur Lowe's comic timing is perfect. A real gem!

"In 'Asleep in the Deep' when Captain Mainwaring tells Wilson to tell Jones to shut the door quietly and Jones shuts it very hard and Wilson says "I'm afraid he didn't shut the door quietly, Sir".".

Upon arrival at the camp, Mainwaring is trying to communicate with one of the prisoners through the perimeter fence, but to no avail.

Mainwaring: "Does anyone here speak Italian?".

Godfrey: "I speak a little, sir".

Godfrey then speaks Italian to the P.O.W. "Vostro piccolo mano e ghiacciato. Permesso e caldo ancora a vita".
(The P.O.W. looks shocked.)

Mainwaring: "What did you say to him, Godfrey?".

Godfrey: "Your tiny hands are frozen".

Mainwaring: "What on earth did you say that for?".

Godfrey: "It's the only Italian I know, sir - you see, I'm a very keen opera fan.

After Mainwaring has been in the officers mess and been made a Cardinal he comes back into the tent, where the rest of the platoon are sleeping, totally plastered he swings round one of the tent poles and mutters "Damn revolving Doors".

When they're about to go to sleep, Frazer starts telling the story from the old empty barn. You see that mysterious look in his eyes as he points his finger and says: "There was nothing in it".  When he turns away from Mainwaring he gives a big smile. Mainwaring then says something like: "You know Wilson, sometimes I think I am running a platoon of fools".

Mainwaring explaining how he learnt to play the bagpipes in the episode- “If the Cap Fits” -

"I spent my honeymoon on the Isle of? A wild and lonely place. The nights were long; there was nothing else to do!"

The platoon are helping to load Godfrey's furniture into Hodges' van. Private Pike is about to put a chair in Hodges' van.

Warden Hodges: "Here, don't load anything else in my van.  You'll break the back axle."

Private Pike: "Mister Mainwaring told me to put it in."
Warden Hodges: "And I'm telling you to take it out.  You stupid, soppy looking boy."

Private Pike: "Don't you call me a stupid, soppy looking boy."

Warden Hodges: "I'm going to have a word with Mainwaring about you." Warden Hodges: "Napoleon, my van won't take any more and I want my money now."

Captain Mainwaring: "The arrangement was that you would be paid two pounds out of platoon funds when the job was finished."

Warden Hodges: "I want my two quid NOW."

Private Pike: "Shoot him Mr Mainwaring. Go on, you're entitled to!"

Captain Mainwaring: "Be quiet, Pike!". "I thought the scene was SO funny."

"I personally love the scene in 'Keep Young And Beautiful' when Captain Mainwaring shows his wig to Sergeant Wilson. When Sergeant Wilson starts laughing and keeps on building his laugh till he is ready to bust, it always makes me laugh and Captain Mainwaring saying "Watch it, Wilson you might snap your girdle" with the look on Sergeant Wilson's face just tops it off."

Pike goes into the office to investigate the rumours that Captain Mainwaring is wearing a wig. He stands in a strange position and Mainwaring asks "Are you wearing corsets?" (this is just after he discovers Wilson's)
Pike replies "I didn't know we were supposed to"

"I like the bit in 'Keep Young and Beautiful' When Mainwaring Tells the men he's going to show them his wig, removes his helmet, and the wig is in the helmet I love the bit where Fraser says "I think it makes him look older"."

"I love the bit in 'Menace From The Deep' when Mainwaring and the rest of the unit are trying to get the chocolate out of the machine, when Walker came back from checking on Godfrey, who was on guard.  As a joke he says "Godfrey was asleep on duty so I shot him".  Mainwaring, who wasn't really listening just approvingly says "Good".  Walker, of course, finds it hilarious."

When the platoon is sent to look after the town from the end of the pier, and Pike didn't tie the boat up properly, so they were completely stranded. The come up with the idea to use a small window facing the town as an SOS signal. Captain Mainwaring turns to Frazer and says something like, "Frazer, you were in the Navy, you'll know morse code. How do you spell help?" Frazer replies, "Wait a minute ... H - E - L - P". I thought this was so funny and well written.

"My favourite moment from Dad's Army comes in the episode 'Mum's Army'.  Mainwaring visits Anne's Pantry in the hope of meeting Fiona Grey, and as he is sitting there, each of the platoon arrive one by one.  He pretends to be a regular visitor, telling each that "I come in here from time to time".  By the time Jones arrives, he has said it about three times, so when Jones says that he didn't know Captain Mainwaring came there, Mainwaring said "I come in here from.....oh, never mind!".  Classic, brilliant comic timing."

"Another is from 'My British Buddy' when Mainwaring is hearing about the fight in the pub.  He hears each story, with his usual look on his face, but when he is told by Pike that Godfrey hit an American over the head with a chair, he says "Godfrey?!" and Godfrey replies "Well he trod on my sister Dolly's upside-down cake".  It's very, very funny."

The last scene in the last episode is one to remember as the platoon members toast the Home Guard.

"One of my favourite bits is from 'No Spring for Fraser'.

The Verger (played to perfection, as ever, by the great Teddy Sinclair) announces that he feels uncomfortable about Mr Blewitt being uncovered in his grave ("He needs filling in!") and that he is off to the graveyard to finish the grave -

Vicar: "Well I must say, you're a braver man than I am."

Verger: "Well, there's all sorts of courage, Vicar. I mean, I don't know how you have the nerve to stand up and give those sermons every Sunday!".

Superb!"

Pike puts his rifle bolt on the floor (which his mother has just given to him after he left it on the wash board at home - she washed it up with the tea things).

Mainwaring to Pike - “Don’t put it on the floor, especially after your mother has taken the time to wash it up”!

My favourite episode.  Private Pike wears a German uniform with hilarious results!  BTW, I asked Ian Lavender which was his favourite episode and this was it!

A classic moment is when Private Pike orders drinks in The Six Bells pub.  "Good evening mein host! Sixteen shandies mit der ginger beer".  The flustered landlord replies "Pints or halves?". Another one is when Private Pike pretends that he is carrying out an interrogation.  He says "Schwien hund, you have five seconds to tell us your plans or - kaput!"  This is followed by him saying "I like being an officer, don't you Uncle Arthur?"

Ginger Beers (418kb)

You Have Five Seconds (543kb)

"My favourite is in 'Room At The Bottom'. Captain Mainwaring arranges for a Guards drill sergeant to give the platoon some drill. The drill sergeant grabs Jones' rifle and gives a demonstration on how to shoulder arms with the instruction "do as I do". At the end of the demonstration he throws the rifle back at Jones. Jones faithfully follows the drill, including throwing the rifle at the drill sergeant!"

My favourite Dad's Army moment is in "Room At The Bottom". When, "Captain Mainwaring" is demoted to a Private, and he is parading with the rest of the men. The new Drill Sergeant is inspecting the men and he comes up to Mainwaring and says "You glamorous knight, you!". My dad and I love this bit.

There is also another bit where the Drill Sergeant is talking to Corporal Jones, and says" You remind me of my Grandfather, you do. Jones says "Oh really?" The Drill Sergeant says "They dug him up three weeks ago and he looks better than you do now!".  This is my most favourite moment in Dad's Army.

"One of my favourite moments is in 'Sgt - Save My Boy'.  Mainwaring tells a few of the men how to put a forage cap on neatly without a mirror.  Not only is the hat too big for him, but when he turns it to the right, it's at such an untidy angle he looks hilarious.  He then announces that that is how to look neat and tidy."

Another classic comes from the early B&W episode, 'Sergeant Wilson's Little Secret', and it's a classic piece of dialogue rather than a piece of action.  When Wilson is trying to explain to Mainwaring that he thinks Mrs Pike is pregnant, Mainwaring at first is pleased with the good news. But then we see a light go on in his head and he says "Hang on - she's a widow isn't she?" When Wilson replies that she is, Mainwaring looks aghast and exclaims "You said you only went round there for meals!" Brilliant!

"My favourite scene was in the episode entitled 'Something Nasty In The Vault' transmitted on the 9th October 1969 . The scene was where Mainwaring and Wilson are in the bank vault holding an unexploded bomb.  Wilson is getting very neurotic and the Captain in trying to cool him down and he relates the story from WW1 when the officer meets up with an Australian soldier at the front and asks him "If he has come to die" and the Aussie replies "No Sir, I came yesterdieeee"."

"One of my favourite quotes from the series makes absolutely no sense unless you are watching 'Sons Of The Sea'. Man:  "Why are you speaking French?". Mainwaring:  "Because we're British!"

Almost on a par with Oliver Hardy's classic line when he is on the telephone - "Excuse me, my ear is full of milk!"."

This is a cracking episode where Jones got to Mr Yeatman.

Jones to Yeatman "You've been a troublemaker for years, you have" Mainwaring: "All right, Jones, we don't want to go into that now. Jones: "Why do you always take the collection home to count it?!" Mainwaring: "That'll do, Jones". Jones: "It ought to be counted in the church" The platoon then go outside.  As the vicar and verger go into the office, the vicar says: "Why do you take the collection home?"

Yeatman's face is a classic!

"Another classic moment is in 'The Bullet Is Not For Firing' when Mainwaring is holding a court of inquiry while the choir are practicing in the side office.  While Jones is giving his evidence the choir start singing a slow hymn. Jones stops talking and starts swaying slowly on the spot.  Mainwaring asks him what's the matter, and he replies "Captain Mainwaring, I think I'm going...,  I can hear the voices of angels".  No one but Clive Dunn could have done that so well."

"In 'The Bullet is Not for Firing', Jones is talking to Mainwaring about how to conduct a fair and proper trial. He seems to be serious until he comes out with: "We always gave the fuzzy wuzzies a fair trial before we shot 'em"."

"One of my favourite moments has to be in the episode where Mainwaring gets Lady Maltby's Rolls and she arrives to tell him about it. Jones: "There's a Lady Maltby to see you Sir." Mainwaring: "Oh, Lady Maltby, I wonder what she wants." Jones: "Oh, she didn't give me any confidence about that Mr Mainwaring. Lords and ladies seldom do you know. When we was in the Sudan, Lord Kitchener never give any of us any confidence." Laugh!"

Who can forget the scene where Private Pike upsets the U-Boat Captain?  He does this when he sings:

Whistle while you work,
Hitler is a twerp,
He's half barmy,
So's his army,
Whistle while you work.

When the U-Boat Captain asks him for his name, Captain Mainwaring shouts: "Don't tell him, Pike!"

WAV Version: Whistle While You Work (345kb)

MP3 Version: Whistle While You Work (345kb)

(My thanks to Caroline Torode for this version)

"My favourite is also from 'The Deadly Attachment' but its the part when the German is saying how he doesn't want soggy chips and he says when we win the war and Mainwaring says you wont win this war and then its oh yes we will ,oh no you wont etc brilliant stuff."

"Another favourite of mine is from 'The Deadly Attachment', in which the German U-Boat captain blows smoke in Mainwaring's face. The good captain manages to not flinch as he does it, but as he turns to Wilson he cannot help but cough! I loved the scene, him trying to talk to Wilson and cough at the same time!"

The verger tells Mainwaring that the Germans will shoot Hodges if they aren't released, and Walker points out that they'll start sinking British ships again, so it's one man's life against thousands. Private Frazer's comment is pure genius - "A terrible decision you have to make, Captain Mainwaring, but you must admit- you never liked the man!"

"I really love all the moments where Pike relates a film he has seen to every situation, but the best one is in 'The Deadly Attachment'. It is when Hodges has been taken Hostage by the German captain and is going to be shot unless they do what he says. Pike talks about the film he saw once with Leslie Howard and Humphrey Bogart, and how he was going to be shot so Leslie Howard distracted him and talked to him and took his mind off it etc Mainwaring actually starts to look interested, and asks Pike what happened in the end, and Pike just says: "He got shot".

Genius ."

"In 'No Spring for Frazer' when everyone in the platoon except Mainwaring and Wilson are digging the grave. Someone comes and they run away and have to leave Jones in the grave. Jones throws the dirt up at the person and the person runs away.".

"Lance Cpl Jones & Pte Godfrey are in a look-out hut watching for smoke signals which will signify the start of the exercise. Godfrey is peering out of the window complaining that he will have trouble seeing the smoke"
 
L/Cpl Jones : "You ought to get glasses Mr. Godfrey" 

Pte Godfrey : "I had a pair once, I didn't get on with them, they made me look rather old"
L/Cpl Jones : "That don't bother me, I AM old"

"A favourite moment comes from 'The Desperate Drive of Lance Corporal Jones'. When Jones and Godfrey get to their post Jones is loudly barking out orders at Godfrey "left, right, left, right, halt, fall out" he then turns to Godfrey and says in a sweet voice "now you just sit right there Mr Godfrey" and helps him into his seat."

Captain Mainwaring's wife is dressed up as Lady Godiva in 'The Godiva Affair'.

Jones : "Poor Mr Mainwaring he’ll never get over the shock."

Fraser : "No and neither will the horse!"

"My favourite Classic is from 'The Man and The Hour'. whilst recruiting Mainwaring asks Fraser his occupation. Fraser replies "I keep a philatelist shop.

Mainwaring replies "How do you spell that?".

"S - H - O - P" says Fraser.

I think this was a sign of things to come."

"In 'The Recruit', when they are all back at the hall and Hodges comes in to challenge Mainwaring to a fight the platoon gather round to defend Mainwaring who is incapacitated due to his ingrowing toenail. Hodges says "Oh I see, seven against one is it?" and Pike replies "No it's only six, I'm not feeling very well."

"My fave moment, so simple, but SO Verger... It's when he umpires, and hunches before saying a very authoritarian 'PLAY!' with an almost Mussolini-esque expression. I play cricket and every time I bat I always get this vision of the Verger peering at me through his specs."

"Jonesy is telling Captain Mainwaring about his time in the Sudan and he says "We rounded a corner and there was this old fakker (pronounced fakker by Jones).  'Turn back, turn back', he said, 'before the sun sets, all of you will be dead', we ignored him but as we rounded the corner the sergeant gave him a mouthful of abuse.  This seemed to upset the old fakker." The look on the old fakir's face (Godfrey) was hilarious."

In the opening scene of 'The Two And A Half Feathers', after Captain Mainwaring has been told off by Walker, he walks away from the counter without paying for his meal.

"One of my favourite moments is when the German Airman is hanging from the clock and calling for help. Jones replies to the calling by saying "We're coming, We're coming". The German then says "Schnell, Schnell" followed by Jones' reply "Never mind about the smell!"." Scott has sent an audio clip of the scene.

Don't Worry About The Smell! (63kb)

"In 'Time On My Hands' there a few top moments. When trying to haul the German pilot in from the town hall clock via, I think, a metal pole. Our heroes pull the pilot towards the balcony with some difficulty. Private Fraser is concerned at the pilots predicament and shouts "Hold on Captain, you'll break the man's leg". Mainwaring responds "Oh I can't help that. He shouldn't have come here in the first place". Nice one Cap!

They realise they are stranded in the clock tower and throw a bottle with a piece of paper in it. On the paper is written "How are we going to get down". Chief Warden Hodges, in the crowd of onlookers below, scrawls a sarcastic and unhelpful reply in large letters on the pavement with a piece of chalk "How are you going to get down". Pike grabs another bottle and flings it down, narrowly missing Hodges. "What message was in that one, Pike?" asks Mainwaring. Pike replies "None at all I was just trying to hit the Warden". "Good" says Mainwaring, approvingly. Brilliant!."

"One of my fav classic moments is from 'Time On My Hands' when the platoon are trying to persuade the German airman to swing closer in and they start to sing "In the Mood". Seriously funny!"

The following hilarious exchange between Wilson and the instructor in the episode
'We Know Our Onions':

Instructor: "Right, now I'm a Gestapo officer. Now you, sergeant -"

Wilson: "Mm-yes?"

Instructor: "What are you doing in France?"

Wilson: "I'm not in France!"

Instructor: "Oh yes, you are. You got there by parachute. I've captured you and now I'm interrogating you."

Wilson: "Oh, I see. Bonjour."

Instructor: "You're not supposed to tell me anything. Now what were you doing in France?"

Wilson: I don't know!"

Instructor: "You're trying to blow up a munitions factory."

Wilson: "All right, I was trying to blow up a munitions factory."

Instructor: "So, you admit it!

Wilson: "Oh, really, this is too absurd."

Instructor: "I'll show you how absurd it is! I'm putting matches underneath your fingernails! I'm setting light to them. They're burning down. Now they've reached your fingers. You're in agony. How do you like that?"

Wilson: "Well, to be absolutely honest, it isn't bothering me very much."

"1. In 'The Honourable Man', where Wilson receives a minor aristocratic title and is invited to join the golf club causing him to be late back from lunch and face the wrath of an already seething resentful Mainwaring. Mainwaring - "I've been trying to get in the golf club for years." Wilson - "Yes well they are rather particular Sir."

2. Can't remember the episode but Wilson tries to defend Mainwaring's arch rival Captain Square by saying he's rather decent chap and they used to share the same nanny. Mainwaring - "Oh yes you privileged classes always stick together- well things are going to be different after the war Wilson, this country is going to be run by experts -teachers, doctors engineers bank managers." Wilson - "Ah, people like you sir."

3. In 'My British Buddy' Mainwaring asks Wilson how you greet an American officer. Wilson - "Well I should think he will say "Howdy partner- put it there"" Mainwaring - "I've never heard anything like it do you seriously think a Colonel in the American army would say Howdy partner put it there? You and Pike watch too many stupid American films." Of course the US officer comes in and says to Mainwaring "Howdy partner put it there"  The look on Wilson's face is priceless."

I love the episode ('Branded') in which Godfrey is ill and the platoon go to visit him at home and discover that Godfrey was awarded a medal for bravery in the First World War and so probably isn't quite the wimp they thought he was! But my absolute favourite scenes are Pike singing "Whistle while you Work"... ('The Deadly Attachment') and the scene of Jones caught on the knight on the clock tower and is going round and round as the clock chimes ('Time On My Hands').

General moments - any time that Mainwaring gets jostled about and appears with his glasses and hat crooked and his hair standing up. From 'Don't Forget The Diver', Frazer goes into the long and painful explanation of how he got his diving suit. Mainwaring exhales loudly with his glasses off and says "So.....we take it you have a diving suit?". Arthur Lowe - Comic Genius!

Any of Frazers 'it was a wild and lonely....' stories. John Laurie was tremendous in this dour scot role

Two of the best lines have got to come from the film:

Having heard the vicar ring his church bell one more time for old time's sake, before it's taken for the war effort, the platoon - who mistake it as the signal for the invasion - build a barricade in the street. Hodges appears and remonstrates with them, pushing one or two of the platoon about. He demands to know who they are and what they're doing. Capt. Mainwaring, from the top of the barricade, shouts at him, "I'm Captain Mainwaring of the Home Guard, and I'll thank you to take your hands off my privates!"

The other comes at the beginning, when everyone marches on the police station to register for the new civil defence volunteer force. Amid all the chaos, Mainwaring stands on the desk and takes charge. He demands, "We must all stand firm." Jones, ramrod straight, says, "That's right sir. That's how we fought the fuzzy wuzzies, firmly standing."

A line I always anticipate and still fall about laughing at is when Fraser is relating the story of a curse put on his friend Jethro, with whom he'd been diving for pearls in the ocean. Jethro finds an idol and plucks a ruby from it, whereby a witch doctor appears and puts a curse on him shouting,"Death! Death! The ruby will bring ye deeeath!"

The camera moves in close on Fraser's overactive face and all is silent. Pike asks, "Did the curse come true Mr. Fraser?" "Aye lad it did. He died... last year, he was eighty six!"

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